///////////////////\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
\                 \/                  /
/         Hacking for Nothing         \
\    (sing to "Money for Nothing")    /
/               @1985                 \
\                 by                  /          
/    Ian Schirado & Jamie McCarthy    \
\                                     /
/ Much thanks to Mr Don Kneller and   \
\ everyone at Stichtling Mathematics  /
/ Center in Switzerland.              \
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\////////////////////

Now look at them HACKers,
That's the way ya do it
Ya train yer dog, he kills an orc or 3    
That ain't working, that's the way to do it
Hacking for nothing with a D-O-G.

The little kobold with the long sword and
The Chain Mail
Yeah buddy, that's really rare
The little kobold's got +5 long sword,
The little kobold swings it through thin air

That ain't working, that's the way to do it
Lemme tell you, them monsters are tough
Maybe read a scroll of Damage Weapon
Maybe curse everything, boy that's rough!

CHORUS:

  We got to outsmart all the shopkeepers
  We get confused and hit him from behind
  He hits for upwards 80 points damage
  Another corpse for yer dog to find!

I shoulda learned to enchant armor
I shoulda learned to find trap doors
Here comes a vault guard, and he looks mad!
This pick-axe's USELESS for digging thru floors!

And look up there, what's that? 
The Wizard of Yendor?
And now he's casting death spells constantly
Oh, this ain't workin, this is a nightmare!
Hacking for nothing, version 1-0-3

I want my...
I want my...
I want my D-O-G

:::fade out:::
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A Three Sheets to the Wind Production